Said with a Straight Face

Anonymous: "[Harvard and Yale] girls just have this really inflated view of themselves. You know, 99% of the women on Earth would sleep with us if we told them we went to Harvard and we'd protect them."

::Later after the Birmingham meet and right after the Nude 4x4::

Derek: "Yeah, I wasn't sure why those British starters kept false-starting on my race."

George: "It might've been because you bellowed 'Hum-Lae!' before each race."

Derek: "Hmm...true. If they had it their way they'd have pointed the gun at me and said, 'Nigga die!'"

------

::The first night in Cambridge, UK::

Christian: "Derek, I remember you listed Kurt Vonnegut as your favorite author on facebook. You put, 'Kurt Vonnegut...so it goes', which was pretty good."

Derek: "Well, what did you expect me to do? I'm not going to be Julia Peterson and write, 'Kurt Vonnegut... :('"

------

::Right after the HYOC banquet in Oxford::

Anonymous: "Guys, I have a confession to make: it's really hard to hook-up when I'm gay. [three second pause] HIGH! Hard to hook-up when I'm high!"

------

::[Oxford Thrower] Steve returning from [Yale thrower] Erica Davis' room, disheveled. Note: Erica is about 6 inches taller than Steve::

Neville: "Yo, how was it?"

Steve: "I knew it was gonna be intense. But not that intense."

Neville: "Huh?"

Steve: "She threw me around the room and wouldn't let me go. I tried multiple times to turn on the light and sneak out but she grabbed me and pulled me back into the bed."

Neville: "Whoa shit!"

Steve: "Yeah, and then finally she just rolled over and went to sleep. I...I need to be alone for a while."

Thanks to Tim Galebach for chasing down Saretsky and dousing him in what remained of the champagne. Sean, sorry big guy, but you gotta learn how to shake up the bottle without blowing the load ten feet away from your target.

Another round of applause to Tim for writing "FUCK YALE" on the HYOC ledger. Years later when Tim becomes Czar of the Ukraine future track athletes will know how he felt about the Yale bros.

Here's a video of Sean Barrett ruining the OC teams (Notice that he's at least 150m ahead of everyone else.) Only a miracle could stop him now!

::Jeopardy in 10 years::

Now for 200 points: "This Canadian was macked on by a hot Oxford girl all night until she vanished from the club."

"Who is Grinstead. Thanks Alec. I'll take 'Guys who are now memorizing The Game' for 400, please."

Taming of the Shrew: Reasons to Love Christian

...27: Christian grinding on a 50 year old woman at The Stables--and his pants falling down below his knees.

...43: Christian's speech at the UL banquet. Highlights include calling Niem a pussy (and Saretsky's facial expression), referencing the constant rain and lack of sunlight in Ireland (few laughs from the Irish), and saying, "I wonder how many Yale girls I'm going to hook up with?" (Zero!)

...16: Christian and Neville's flip procedure.

...15: Christian and Tim's flip disaster ("Boys! Have some common sense!")

...94: Christian holding [Yale Pole Vaulter] Ashley's hands and telling her an 'authentic' story about how a chance encounter at Newbury Comics kindled his interest in Track and Field. Five uncomfortable minutes later and she stood and walked off.

...71: Christian telling Rosie, the Irish high jumper, to sit on his lap during a lift back to Dromroe; Rosie amending the offer and sitting in the middle front seat.

More Poetry

On Christian

A Mandarin grove o'er the ridge:
Do I dare taste an Asian fruit?

Response to 'On Christian'

The optic nerve with Plutarch sense
Tells them of malevolence,
Winds, wines, and clementines;
Just a bite tonight.

A lovely collection

Extremely drunk Brian Holmquest:
'I was asleep! There was a fire!'

Brian: 'You can feel liberty, in regular form. Can't you feel it?!'
Danielle: 'Is it the sticky desk?'


Extremely sober Brian Holmquest:
'Cars don't kill people...People kill ca--WAIT! People kill people. Guns help kill them--WAIT! Cars. Cars people. Guns. Guns Don't kill cars. Guns kill cars--(long contemplative pause)--with people.'


::While waiting in line at the airport. Crammed in between seventy white, preppy Yale and Harvard student athletes.::
George (looking at Derek): 'Let's play what doesn't belong!'
&
George: 'I bet Neville will get searched for looking Mexican.'
&
Saretsky: 'George are you making that up as you go along??'
George: 'No...I don't know.'

::Old man nearly falls but ends up sliding under a roped off area::
Derek & George: 'Oooh...Powerslide!'

::Spoken to Brian Holmquest::
Danielle: 'You're being nice lately. Nicer than usual. Maybe Jack rubbed off on you.'
George: 'Yeah, literally.'


Aer Lingus= Crew of superhero, evil defeating lesbian stewardesses led by their female captain.

::Christian's early thoughts in haiku form::
The air, dank with blow,
Weighs ever on scattered star,
Just one man's lost thought.

This Yale girl ahead
Better not stalk me this trip
And ruin my game.

::George's heartfelt haiku::
Hot Ashley from Yale,
You will succumb to my charm.
What a stunning ass.

::Derek's poetry::
I mightn't shudder to trade the girls on our team for theirs;
except the ugly ones--
God help them.

::Christian Ayers: 'Sean Barrett, the only Marine with Leukemia'::

::Upon Observing Irish kidsp laying Baseball::
George: 'I didn't know they played baseball here!!'
Derek: 'Yeah. Well they call it faggotball and they only play it on their birthdays as a joke.'

::George had put a spoon over his eye::
George: 'Yo...I'm Jean Claude Van Damme in Cyborg!'

::Justin to George::
Justin: 'Hey, I think I see you over there. Why don't you go fuck it?!'

Bro Sandwich

::Brian and Tim walking beside George::

B: "Hey George, aren't you hungry right now?"

G: "Uhh...yeah, totally."

T: "Couldn't you go for some tomato and lettuce?"

G: "Yeah!"

B: "And some turkey!"

G: "You...mean a sandwich?"

::Brian and Tim squish George and shout, 'Bro sandwich?'::

-----

::All the throwers, Brian and Tim circling around Jack Brady::

Christian: "Hey Jack, couldn't you go for some...finger foods?"

Jack: "Uhh...what are you talking about?"

Brian: "Bacon and Lettuce and Tomato..."

Jack: "Huh?"

Christian: "Peanut butter and jelly..."

Jack: "Sub?"

Christian Ayers

Ripe fruit, the object
of desire is stronger than
a cherry blossom

In case you were wondering...

Here is a link for the past HYOC results (courtesy of achilles.org)

The Official Blog of the Harvard Track and Field Team

As the trip progresses we'll add stories and pictures from travels, competitions, and other various escapades. I chose blogger because it's pretty easy to use (easy enough for Aishlinn to figure out) and has decent server space. Enjoy.

-djones